Angela told Maryam that she might find it easier to talk to her parents if she used some self-advocacy skills. Maryam had never heard of self-advocacy and asked Angela what it meant. She said self-advocacy was all about speaking up for yourself. Angela said Maryam had already started self-advocacy by talking with her. She said it was important to have a support person to help you when you are self-advocating. She said that another important part of self-advocacy was to know your rights and responsibilities. Angela explained to Maryam that there were certain laws and rules that had been written to protect people with disabilities and people from different cultures from being treated unfairly because of their disability or cultural background. Maryam was relieved to learn there were rules that would help her. Angela gave Maryam some information about the Disability Discrimination Act, the Disability Service Standards, and the Multiculturalism Charter to read so she could learn more about her rights because she said Maryam had a responsibility to know about the rules that affected her.

There were so many things Maryam could think of to change now she knew about these rules, but Angela said it was important to do things one at a time so she didn’t get confused. Angela also said that it was Maryam’s responsibility to learn as much about the situation as she could so she could make the best decisions about what to do. Together they discussed what they needed to find out and who might be able to give them that information and decided it was best to start with Centrelink and Maryam’s bank. Angela said there were many ways she could get information: she could look on the internet, go to a library, write a letter, make a phone call, or arrange a meeting. Maryam thought the best way to get the information she needed was to make a phone call. Angela said it was good to prepare yourself before the phone call so you could make sure you had all the information that was needed. Maryam wrote out a list of the questions she was going to ask and practiced asking them with Angela. When she rang Centrelink, she remembered to ask for the name of the person she was talking to and wrote it down. She asked the questions clearly and wrote down the answers. Sometimes the person spoke too quickly and Maryam had to ask her to repeat herself or speak slowly but she managed to write it all down!

Maryam thanked the person she was speaking to and hung up the phone. Angela wanted to hear all the information she had learnt, and then Maryam rang the bank.

When Maryam had finished she knew that the Disability Support Pension should be paid directly to her to her and she should have access to the money. She found out that she could set up a new account with the bank which gave her access to her money. Maryam was very excited because she would be able to get to her money whenever she wanted to. But, she didn’t want to do anything without discussing it with her parents because they would be hurt and offended. Together with Angela she came up with a plan to talk to her parents calmly. Angela offered to be there when Maryam spoke with them but Maryam knew her parents didn’t like to involve others with family issues so she said no and agreed to ring Angela after so she could tell her what had happened. They then discussed why the talks Maryam had had with her parents before hadn't worked. Maryam said that she usually got angry during the discussions and then she couldn’t think clearly. Angela taught Maryam a few techniques to help calm herself down and stay focused during the discussions. She said that if she got angry, it was a good idea to ask for a break and go away for a minute to calm down. Maryam also thought that maybe both herself and her parents wanted things their own way and weren’t listening to each other. So Maryam and Angela wrote out a list of all the things Maryam wanted to happen and what they thought her parents might want, they then tried to think of solutions that would make them all happy. Things such as planning a budget so her parents would know how Maryam planned to spend her money, setting up a savings account to make sure Maryam had some money put aside, and paying board to her parents every week to cover her living expenses. They then practiced, like they had before making the phone calls, until Maryam felt confident enough to speak with her parents.

Maryam chose to talk with her parents when neither of them was busy so there was no pressure. They all took turns speaking about how they felt and what they would like to happen. Then Maryam told her parents about some of the solutions she had thought of and they all discussed the solutions until they had come up with one they were all happy with. Maryam had access to her money and independence and her parents were not worried about her getting into financial trouble because she was saving and had a sensible budget.