In this step you will learn the self-advocacy skills of:

• About documentation and what documents I need.
>> (Activity 6.1)

• How to make a phone call and to make it.
>> (Activity 6.2)

• How to write a letter and when to write it.
>> (Activity 6.3)

• How to prepare and act in a meeting and when to have a meeting.
>> (Activity 6.4)

• What to do if I am still not happy and what I should do next.

It is important to have a record of the self-advocacy process. A record helps you remember what has been decided so far and what needs to happen next. You also need to keep all other information that is relevant to the case. This may include birth certificates, passports, immigration details, doctor’s notes and certificates, employment contracts, pay slips, bank details, and letters from various agencies. This information may support your case and fast-track any action that will occur. If possible you should have both the originals and at least one set of photocopies to give out.

When you are speaking-up for yourself it is important to keep everything written down on paper so you know what you have already done, what has been decided, and what needs to happen next.

Check that you have copies of everything on this list in your self-advocacy file:

After deciding which person or agency is most able to help with your problem, it is usually best to begin with a phone call explaining what your problem is. It is important you keep a record of everything you say to the other party and what they say to you. It can be difficult to remember all those details so it helps to have a record sheet for you to write them down. You need to record who you spoke to, when you spoke to them, what you said to them, and what they said to you.

It can be difficult to remember everything you want to say so it may be a good idea to write notes on what you want before the phone call starts. That way you can jog your memory and only need to concentrate on writing down the other person’s details and what they say. Be polite but firm and remember to thank the person when you have finished.

If you or the other person agree to do anything, it is useful to send a letter outlining what agreements have been made after the phone call. Keep track of what arrangements have been made and follow up if no action is taken in the agreed time.

You should usually use a phone call to speak-up for yourself if the issue you want to speak-up about is relatively simple. It is also good to use a phone call if the person you need to speak to about your problem is somebody you have meet before but don’t know very well (LAC, doctor, OT, teacher) or an agency which you have had a lot to do with (Rocky Bay, Cerebal Palsy Association, University).

It is important to keep a record of the phone call and what was discussed so it is a good idea to write notes while you are speaking to the other person. It can be hard to concentrate on writing AND listening at the same time so you can save time by writing the questions you want to ask on a piece of paper before you start the phone call. You can then write notes about the answers you are given during the phone call. You can also include with the questions you are going to ask, three suggestions for solutions to the problem so you have them ready. Sometimes the person you speak to will agree to your best solution.

Date:

Agency:

Name of the person you speak to:

The problem is:___________________________________________
________________________________________________________

How do you feel about the problem:__________________________
________________________________________________________

The problem needs to change because:_______________________
_________________________________________________________

You can write letters to get information, to express your opinion or to request assistance. You should usually use a letter to speak-up for yourself if the issue you want to speak-up about needs a lot of information to be explained or is complex. Some people, who have trouble speaking or understanding English, prefer to speak-up through letters in their first language because they can have somebody translate the information and the person reading the letter will be able to understand it more easily. It is also good to use a letter if you are unsure exactly which person at an agency you need to speak to about your problem.

It is sometimes hard to know what to write in a letter so don’t be afraid to write a draft or practice letter. It might help to get your support person to help you write the letter especially if you have trouble writing.

Keep copies of all letters you send and receive. It can be good to get a person from your support team to add their name to the bottom of a letter. It can also be useful to send copies of the letter to other interested parties so they are aware of the problem.

Read through the sample letters then practice writing a letter that will help you in your self-advocacy process. You might like to get your support worker to assist you if you have trouble communicating in English or if writing is difficult for you. Even if you don’t get someone to help you write the letter it is a good idea to show someone else before sending it to check that it says what you want it to, just like you would ask questions when reflective listening!

You would usually choose to speak-up for yourself in a meeting if you are not happy with the answers and solutions you have from your phone calls or letters. Meetings are a good place to negotiate with the other person to find a solution that you are both happy with (see the section on Negotiation for some tips). It is good to arrange a meeting if the problem is very complex or if there are legal issues involved. A meeting provides you with more opportunities to ask questions and make sure you understand the situation.

The most important thing to remember when you are speaking-up for yourself in a meeting is to relax and stay calm so you can focus on what you are trying to say to the other person and listening to what they are saying to you.

Meetings can be stressful for some people so it is a good idea to be prepared. Before going to the meeting write out what you would like to say. Practice with your support team or in front of the mirror. Plan an agenda (or a list of things you want to talk about) to take to the meeting to help you stay focused. Write notes that you can look at if you need to remember something. Collect all the documents relevant to the meeting to take with you. It can be good to have a support person with you during meetings, especially if you think you will get angry or upset. Your support person will be able to take notes while you talk or take over if you become too emotional.

If you have not been to the meeting place before, you could find out where it is or even make a practice visit before hand so you don’t get lost or arrive late to the meeting. Plan to arrive at the meeting 10 minutes early so you are not rushed. Use the time to read over your notes or talk with your support person about what you are going to say. Try to relax and stay calm.

At the start of the meeting introduce yourself and your support person. Be polite and put forward your agenda. It is important you present your issues as clearly as possible. Pay attention and listen to what the other people are saying. If you don’t understand what is being said, don’t be afraid to ask questions. It is important you understand what is being discussed. If you find yourself getting angry or upset ask to take a short break so you can calm down. Get you support person to take note of any action agreed on and when it is due to take place.

At the end of the meeting repeat the solutions and the dates they should start/finish to make sure everyone has the same understanding. If you are satisfied with the solutions ask to speak with a supervisor or management to discuss the issue further. You may need to arrange another time for this. Thank the person for their time.

After the meeting you might be upset, worried, or angry. It is a good idea to talk about this with you support person and discuss what you would like to do now.

On-site interpreters can be arranged by many agencies if booked a week in advance. Alternatively it is possible to use the TIS phone interpreters if a speaker or conference phone is arranged for the meeting.

Ask someone – your support person, a friend, or someone in your family - to role play a meeting. They should pretend they are the person you will be meeting with and you should practice speaking-up for yourself.
Make sure you prepare for the meeting.
Have you got:

• An agenda or list of things you want to talk about
• All the documents you need
• Your self-advocacy file

If you are not happy with the result of the meeting or you feel that the action that was agreed on at the meeting is not being done or the progress is too slow, you can take your dissatisfaction to more senior people in the organization. These people might be in a better position to help you. If you want to do this, you will
need to arrange a meeting with a senior person or a manager of the organization. You should prepare for these meetings as you have the others. It may be especially important to bring a support person along for these meetings.

If you are still not happy with the answers and solutions you have from your phone calls, letters, and meetings, and you still feel you are being treated unfairly then there are several things you can do. Firstly, you could ask someone to advocate on your behalf. That is, you can ask for somebody else to speak-up for you. There are a number of agencies which provide advocacy services, the specialized agency for people with disabilities who are from a CaLD background is the Ethnic Disability Advocacy Centre (EDAC). There are also other general advocacy providers such as Advocare.

The next thing you can try is to make a formal complaint about how you have been treated by the organization when you took your problem to them. In step one you learnt about the Disability Service Standards and Quality Systems. All agencies need to have formal Complaints and Disputes procedures for you to use if you are not happy with the service you have received and have not been able to resolve the problem in a way you are happy with.

If you would like make a formal complaint you will need to ask your service provider to give you a copy of the agency’s Complaints Form and Procedures. You will then need to fill in the form and return it to the agency. The agency will then consider the issue and reply to you.

If you continue to get no help with your case or it is something that is a problem for a lot of people, it might be good to inform your local member of parliament or a cabinet minister. You could do this by sending copies of the letters you sent to the agencies so the minister is aware of the progress of your case, or by sending a separate letter describing what you would like to happen.

Having a plan can help you reduce stress by eliminating potential problems before they occur. You should make a list of all the steps you need to do so that you can reach your goal. You can update this list along the way as you think of additional things which need to be done. However, even if you are as prepared as you can be, things may still go wrong and you might still feel nervous or stressed. These are a few techniques to learn which may help calm and relax you.

Imagery: Sometimes you are not able to change or leave the place which is making you tense and nervous, such as when you are waiting for an important meeting. You can help yourself relax by simply imagining you are in a more enjoyable place. When you imagine you are more calm and relaxed, you begin to feel more relaxed. You can also help prepare yourself for a meeting or presentation by imagining the event before hand. If you ‘rehearse’ the meeting before hand you can think of solutions and be prepared for them. When you imagine the meeting going along with your plan, you give yourself confidence to keep going towards your goal.

Physical Relaxation: When you feel stressed your body prepares itself by increasing muscle tension and because your body is focused on being tense it can be difficult to think clearly. By reducing muscle tension you can help yourself think more clearly under pressure. You can do this by breathing deeply and concentrating on tensing and relaxing your muscles.

1. Close you eyes. Think of a place where you happiest. Try to remember the sounds, sights, smells and the feelings you have when you are there. Whenever you are feeling stressed, angry or upset, go to this place and remember the feeling of calm you have when you are there.

2. Close your eyes. Imagine the big meeting you have planned has just begun. Go through what you will say first, and then try to think of what the other person will say. ‘Rehearse’ the meeting in your head as many times as you like imagining all types of scenarios.

3. Close your eyes. Concentrate on breathing in deeply and feel your lungs expand. Hold the breath for a second then concentrate on breathing out slowly until you have no air left in your lungs. Repeat this breathing until you feel calmer.

4. Close your eyes. Tense the muscles in your feet hold it then relax them. Then tense the muscles in your calves then relax. Continue tensing then relaxing up the body until the head. Finally tense all you muscles at once, hold, and then relax.

1. Planning: being prepared is the best way to stop conflict arising. If you know what you want, what they want and some possible solutions before then you are more able to stay calm and focus on getting a solution you are both happy with.

2. Timing: arrange to speak at a time that is convenient for both parties. Conflict often occurs when there is not enough time given to discuss things.

3. Control your emotions: sometimes it can be hard to stop yourself getting upset or angry when you are not being listened to or when there seams like there is no good solution. If you feel yourself getting upset or angry, try to use some simple relaxation techniques. They can help you to calm down and clear your mind so you can concentrate better (find these skills in the stress management section. If you still can not calm down don’t be afraid to ask for some time out. Say you need a break but would like to continue the discussion later. Go for a walk and try to unwind or talk with your support person about what to do now.

4. Speaking: make sure you give as much information as you can about how you feel, why you feel that way, and how you would like things to change. Do not blame the other person, and try to understand their point of view but make sure you speak about your feelings and what you want.

5. Listening: listen to what the other person is saying to you. Repeat back what they have said to make sure you are understanding them properly (find these skills in the listening section).

6. Discuss: calmly discuss the different solutions both parties have raised. Try to focus on the common solutions between parties.

7. Evaluate: decide on an option, agree to trial it for a period of time then meet to discuss if it is working.

If you think that conflict is developing when you are self-advocating take a moment to pause and try to relax. Go through your self-advocacy file and find the conflict prevention checklist sheet. You can then look at the sheet to remind you what you need to do to help stop conflict from occurring or getting worse. Ask the person you are speaking with to stop talking for a moment while you both calm down. When you have both calmed down go through the steps on the checklist as you try to find a solution to the problem.

Self-advocacy is about speaking up for yourself, asking for what you want and making decisions about your life. To do this you might have to negotiate with somebody else. You need to negotiate when what you want is different to what the other people involved want. Negotiation is when two people (or groups of people) who want different things work together to find a solution that will make them both happy. It is sometimes called a win-win approach because people try to find an answer that is best for them AND the person they are negotiating with.

To find a win-win answer, you might not always be able to get EXACTLY what you want because that might be opposite to what the other person wants. To find an answer that will make you both happy, you might both need to give up some of the things you want. BUT you can’t give up everything you want because then you will not be able to find an answer that will make you both happy. It is important to know exactly what you want and to think about what the other person wants. When you know what you both want you can then think of what you are prepared to do to get what you want and what the other person would like for them to give you what you want.